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Get Past The Past!

Going through life carrying the baggage of the past is a great burden to bear but life is much sweeter when you travel light.

If you have ever been hurt before, be it as a result of an experience in your family, your relationships, loss of a loved one or some other form of emotional pain, then you’ll quite agree that such pain may be indescribable when compared with physical pain and can tend to linger on much longer.  Likewise, there are some seemingly little  events encountered on a daily basis that tend to accumulate over time such as misunderstandings, quarrels or disagreements between parties which can cause some pain and affect people’s relationships or attitude towards themselves. No matter the weight of the pain, know that it is in your power to take charge of your life and determine when it ends!

Whatever time frame the past holds, be it several years ago or just some months, weeks, days, hours or minutes ago, learning to handle the past appropriately is key to our wellbeing. Sometimes, in a bid to deal with such hurts and pains of the past, you may unknowingly be feeding and giving energy to them through the ways you choose to go about handling it such as archiving them in your memory, sweeping them under the “carpet” or building a huge fence around yourself. In this way, you end up creating a harmful state of mind which is full of anger, bitterness, resentment, regrets and hatred. Such baggages are heavy and they have the capacity to slow you down in life.  

Wallowing in the pains of the past and dwelling in unforgiveness is a huge set back to anyone because the problems become amplified when you keep replaying the events over and over again in your mind thereby getting ample reasons to be angry and bitter all the time. This in turn prevents you from being free and enjoying life to the fullest.

Why don’t you take the driver’s seat in your life and let go off all the pains of the past through forgiveness. You’ll be doing yourself a huge favour by learning to forgive easily. Forgive them, forgive yourself and let it go, let there be no room for unforgiveness in your heart.

Self-check

Can you think of someone right now that you haven’t forgiven yet because of what they did to you? If so, forgive them now and be free. You can do it!

It is said that we may forgive but we never forget. No doubt about that but the real test to know if you have healed is when you are able to separate the pain from the memory. Meaning, you may remember everything that happened but it no longer hurts like it used to. That way, you have let go completely and you can talk about the past without feeling the pain anymore. Then, you are truly free!

Remember to travel light, no excess baggage allowed! Kindly follow me on twitter @drmorayojimoh for more exciting updates.

 

 

 

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Enjoying your own company

“If you make friends with yourself, you’ll never be lonely” –Maxwell Maltz

happy-black-womanStrap your seat belt as we take a journey into ourselves but first, what really comes to mind when asked the common question; “who are you? ” or “tell me about yourself”

Can you tell who you really are?

Do you know yourself well enough?

Do you know for certain what you are capable of doing?

Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

As relational beings, we are constantly relating with others in our lives. We have family, friends and others in our society constantly demanding for our attention.  The relationship with others in our lives is necessary but what is more important is our relationship with ourselves i.e our intrapersonal relationship. People often go to great lengths to gain skills that will enable them relate better with others in their lives with little emphasis being placed on how well they relate with their own selves.

Let’s make this a bit more practical, take it a challenge; choose a day or maybe one hour to be by yourself. No other person around, no calls, no chats just you…. Then see how well you thrive when you are not in the company of others.

Stop+Feeling+HelplessIf all you get is boredom, loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, suicidal thoughts, feeling of worthlessness, fear and all such negative feelings, then something is not right with the quality of your intrapersonal relationship.  Some are fantastic when it comes to relating with others and may often avoid being alone for the shortest possible time, they rather thrive well in the company of others. Such people are quick to judge themselves as friendly… but the truth is that they may actually not be friends with their own selves and often have problems in their relationship with others as well. Some others find that they are unable to enjoy their own company and the company of others as well. The third set of people find that they may enjoy their own company and have issues relating with others outside themselves…

It is important to note that none of these three extremes is encouraged but rather, there should be a balance wherein we can have a healthy intrapersonal relationship as well as healthy interpersonal relationships.

The quality of your intrapersonal relationship determines the quality of your interpersonal relationship

When you improve on your intrapersonal relationship, your interpersonal relationships get even better and more fulfilling.

Here are some amazing ways to develop a healthy relationship with yourself

  1. Know yourself: knowing yourself is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with yourself. You may think you know yourself well enough but you still need to do a deeper study of yourself. You’ll notice that some things change as you age while some don’t. Also, know your strengths and weakness, know what to avoid and what to delve into, be sincere with yourself, for example, if you cannot handle harsh criticisms don’t go looking for it. Know what makes you happy and go for it!
  2. Practice Mindfulness meditation: man-breathingbeing mindful is simply learning to gain awareness of the present moment, your present thoughts and feelings. Most of time we are unaware of these bodily functions. If you were told to describe how you feel right now what will it be? Stressed?, sad?, uneasy?, relaxed?, happy?, angry?, loved?, unwanted? Or fulfilled?. Now let’s have a quick mindfulness practice, notice when you breathe in and out…. Then take the “in breath” slow……………..ly and the “out breath” slow………………ly also. Do this for about 2 minutes at different times today and every single day. That’s the beginning of being mindful! For more information about mindfulness, kindly visit mobilehealthconsult.org
  3. Be yourself: you are the only YOU in the entire galaxy! So enjoy being you. You may feel that your weaknesses far outweighs your strengths. Well, look inside you once again and search deep within you. If you are sincere with yourself well enough to know your weaknesses, then the fact that you can bring it to the level of your consciousness means it is 50% resolved!. Be yourself through your journey to become better every day!

Don’t let anyone or societal standards make you feel any less of yourself. Enjoy being you, enjoy your own company, communicate with yourself and have a bank of happy memories about yourself and your achievements. Remember, the better the quality of your intrapersonal relationship, the more fulfilling your interpersonal relationships will be.

Don’t forget to be your own friend and follow me on twitter @drmorayojimoh for more amazing updates on #Intrapersonalrelationship.