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Spice Up Your Love! 


couple-hugging-each-other-bench

If you were to think about one special person in your life right now, who will that be? My guess is the one you refer to as your; “Honey”, “Sweet heart”, “Darling”, “Love” “Valentine”, “Sweetie” or maybe some other special names you have coined for yourselves probably in your local language or some other foreign language. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that someone holds you special in their heart regardless of your flaws.

Relationships are powerful and therapeutic. Just think about it, having someone to talk to after a hard day’s work, or having someone who cares about you and how every single minute of your day is being spent. What about knowing that there is someone special who can listen to you when others may seem not to pay attention, or even being able to share your deepest thoughts and feelings openly with someone who understands and is willing to make you a better person.

Love makes life beautiful and being in a healthy relationship adds color to your life. Relationships are like plants which require good soil, sunlight, water and some other nutrients to flourish. A farmer knows very well that he has to water his seeds consistently before they begin to blossom and produce a bountiful harvest for him.  Often time, people only get excited at the onset of their relationship (first few dates) but soon experience some form of dryness or “boringness” in the relationship and may even opt for a new one with a different person with the hope that the “excitement” they seek may be restored again. Sadly, this cycle goes on and on.

Relationships require work and time- by way of watering the relationship (Like the farmer waters his seeds) thereby flaming the embers of love.

Here are some powerful ways to spice up your relationship

  1. Communicate more: in relationships, communication is key. You should be able to talk about EVERYTHING! Nothing should be too difficult to talk about and this should be cultivated at the beginning of your relationship.

If you want be my lover, you have to first be my friend!

Talk openly about the things you are not comfortable with in the relationship as well as how both of you can make things better. Talk about the things you love about your partner and also what you love about the relationship. Talk about things that are peculiar to both of you as well as what applies generally.

Endeavour to study the verbal and non-verbal communication of one another.

  1. Play together: when last did you play like a child? My guess is as good as yours. There is a time for everything, a time to work and a time to play!play The beautiful thing about play is that you get to laugh about the silly things that happen and you also get to break the walls that lie between you and your partner. Take on the challenge to play  hide and seek or any other childhood game you remember as often as you can.
  2. Add some adventure to your dates: Going out on a date? picnic dateDo something different each time. Spice your outings with surprises and adventures. If you do more of restaurants and places that require a table for two setting, try going on a picnic for a change. You have to plan properly for this- here is a tip: make a list of all that will be needed for the picnic and divide it into two parts- one will contain things that you will come along with while the other will be a list of what your partner is to come along with. You can also see a movie together at a different cinema, go site seeing or do some other activities that will thrill you and your partner.
  3. Forgive easily: In relationships, unforgiveness is a major issue that can result in building very thick walls between partners. Learn to forgive each other easily. You will always reap the benefits.

In relationships, the first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to move forward is the happiest!

  1. Be creative: If you are willing to add more spice to your relationship, then you have to be creative. Do something unexpected for your partner everyday and let it become a part of you. Soon, you’ll notice how much more spicy your relationship will become!Lovesign21

Remember that every good relationship requires effort to be successful. Practice the outlined ideas and share with us your experience and some you have thought of as well.

Kindly follow @drmorayojimoh for more wonderful updates on Love and Relationships.

 


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Family Ties

“Family is the most important thing in the world.”Princess Diana

 familyThey have watched you laugh, cry, win or fail at different points in your life. They have seen you at your worst and best, they have shared in your joy and pain. They know and understand your strengths and weaknesses and they may seem to criticize you the most. You didn’t choose them and you can’t forget them in a hurry but out of all the people in this world, they are the ones that probably know, understand and accept you the most – Your family! Yes, your father, mother, sister, brother, spouse, children and significant others. They are the ones who will be with you in times of crises, celebration, mourning and even at death.

“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!”- Albert Einstein

 Every family is different, what applies to one family may not apply to another. It’s the uniqueness of your family that makes it special. You should cherish your family even with all the imperfections that forms part of it. The obvious truth is that there really is no perfect family no matter how perfect they may seem to the outside people. Every family  has their own challenges as well as strengths. Here’s a tip;

 Take time out to appreciate the positive sides of your family while refusing to mull over the negative aspects of your family. family 1

“When trouble comes, it’s your family that supports you.” – Guy Lafleur

 As humans,we have a  strong need to love and be loved and the family is usually the first platform where love is expressed such as in caring for and sharing with one another. The bond that ties your family together is not just blood, but more of the shared joy, love, memories and respect for each other. It’s the reason why you love your brother, sister or others in your family regardless of how much you have fought with them in the past or their weaknesses.

“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.” –  George Moore

 We have a responsibility to our family to keep it strong and knitted together in love. Doing this requires a daily effort on our part to invest in our family with our time, gifts and other resources.

Family ties are precious threads, no matter where we roam,

 They draw us close to those we love, and pull our hearts toward home.

“Love begins at home and its not how much we do, but how much love we put into that action”.- Mother Teresa

Welcome to the month of February, the season of love.loveEvery day this month… (and of course other months), make a conscious effort to put a smile on a family member’s face!

Love starts with you.


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Still single due to mistrust?

mistrustMistrust often occurs as a result of negative past experiences either with parents, lovers or someone once trusted in the past. The pain caused by that person’s “betrayal” tends to create a significant level of anxiety which deters people from having confidence in another. This reaction although logical could drastically hinder interpersonal relationships and could ultimately destroy, if not prevent, romantic relationships. A number of people, probably more common in women, prefer to stay away from romantic relationships in order to prevent emotional dependence on another as that would leave them vulnerable to the pain of heartbreak. This anxiety, among other set-backs, could lead to depression and loneliness. However, if you are single due to trust issues it is not the end of the world. There are some solutions which could help your situation.

1. Trust yourself. People often blame themselves when they have been betrayed in the past and implicitly do not trust that they can separate the trustworthy from the untrustworthy anymore. It is very difficult to trust others when you do not trust yourself. Create inner confidence in yourself by exploring your fears and being mentally aware of how they hold you back.

2. Take a leap. Extra caution is your comfort zone, get out of it. Get close to someone who have had in mind and carefully steer the relationship by being as honest to them as you would want them to be with you. Let them know how you feel most times and ease into emotional bonding which you have feared so much in the past. Let the person know from the start that you want to slowly ease into the relationship. As you ease into the relationship, continually remind yourself that you should not punish this person for another’s mistake and give them a chance to prove their loyalty.

3. Learn from mistakes. We all make mistakes and will continue to, so why not learn from them? As quoted from Rafiki the Baboon from the Disney picture The Lion King, the past does hurt, but you can either run from it or learn from it. The wiser decision would be to learn from your past mistakes and let that pain from the past, if any, go. This is difficult but would be easier if you focus on the present moment and prepare for the future with whoever you choose. This awareness of the present moment, which is a core principle of mindfulness meditation, is vital in order to reduce anxiety and significantly improve interpersonal relationships.

There is usually a fear of not being able to handle being betrayed by the one person you finally decided to let your guard down for and trust. Don’t worry about that. Having taken these steps you will be self-assured and would find moving on with life much easier than you think. Do not be anxious about past mistakes or about the future. Enjoy each moment.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway


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The Secret to Better Relationships

Relationships are usually said to be the most meaningful part of people’s lives. Be it parent-child relationships, romantic relationships or relationships with colleagues at work, man as a social being has an innate need to bond with others. Over time, we become dependent on the significant relationships we have formed which affect our well-being.

It is well known that most, if not all, relationships are imperfect. Furthermore, as time goes by, changes that occur in one’s life could either affect a significant relationship positively or adversely. These life changes include ageing, moving from one job to another or the death of a family member. Regardless of these, there is a secret that will improve your relationships and guard them from whatever changes or inconveniences life may bring.

“The secret to better relationships lies in the practice of mindfulness meditation.”

Mindfulness, involves being fully aware of the present moment. It awakens your consciousness to your emotions and also those of others. With mindfulness, you can easily perceive underlying intentions and subjective feelings which improve your understanding of others and capacity for empathy and compassion. Practicing mindfulness can make your relationships better in the following ways:

1. Discovery discovery

Mindfulness meditation enables one to focus deeply on the present moment which encourages further discovery of oneself and others. For example, romantic relationships often get to the point where it becomes routine and boring and this could be harmful for any relationship. Mindfulness helps you discover aspects of yourself, your partner, child or colleague that you may have missed in previous times due to lack of focus or change in the person over time. This helps you to see yourself and others in a new light and would prevent a routine relationship.

2. Self-Love self love

Mindfulness elicits self-appreciation and self-satisfaction. At that moment you accept yourself with all your imperfections and bask in your inner thoughts about you. You learn to love yourself. Do more things you like, eat what you like, go where you like and even make better decisions in life. In order to love others in relationships you must first LOVE YOURSELF. You cannot give what you do not have. You would need to be satisfied with yourself in order to readily see the best in others. Pretense or putting up a façade harms relationships. As such, a genuine love for oneself leads to self-acceptance and being one’s self which is key to any healthy relationship.

3. Managing emotions anger

Mismanagement of emotions is a major cause of conflict in relationships. Mindfulness meditation makes you realize that you have control over your emotions and only YOU can make YOU sad or happy. This way you do not blame others for your emotions but take full accountability for them.

Techniques used in mindfulness meditation can be used by anyone anywhere and at any time. Techniques such as couples meditation helps couples connect more deeply each day and increases levels of empathy in relationships. Mindfulness meditation is done at the discretion of the individual and usually becomes a life-long habit that would continually improve you as an individual as well as various relationships with others.

Now you know the secret to better relationships!

Begin by registering for a FREE mindfulness meditation training, follow this link: http://www.mobilehealthconsult.org/?page_id=1008