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Building a Loving Relationship

Sarah has always wondered what it will be like to have a close relationship with her parents.

She feels something may be wrong with her family. 

Each time she sees or hears her friends talk freely with their parents and hang out with them,

she wishes so much for such a relationship.


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As children grow older and become more exposed to their environments, they start to see things differently and compare what goes on in their homes to that of others.

As a parent, you are the architect of your home, think about this for a while, what kind of children do you want to raise? Could it be children that can talk freely with you, open up to you, share their fears and trust you? or those that will be too scared to come close to you and want to hide everything from you?

Well, it all starts with the strength of your relationship with your child right from childhood and onwards. A loving parent to child relationship cannot be overemphasized because many problems in our homes and society as of today emanates from dysfunctional parent to child relationship.toddler_and_parent_smiling_with_book_02

No doubt, parenting can be really tough but a sure way to make it an enjoyable one is to strengthen your bond with your child. You will be better able to handle the challenges of parenting when you have a close relationship with your child.

Here are 10 practical tips to build a strong relationship with your child;

Tip #1 Know your child: you have to be able to study your child and understand most of his/her verbal and non-verbal communication. This does not happen in a day so take your time to study your child’s physical and emotional responses.

Tip #2 Be a good model: most of the attitude your child displays were gotten from you. Don’t tell them to do things the right way when you do them the wrong way. If you want them to be truthful, you have to avoid telling lies as well.

Tip #3 Be open to them: try as much as possible to be open to them so that they’ll take after you and be open to you in turn. Tell them about your childhood struggles and be there to help them through theirs also.

Tip #4 Tell them you love them: hearing the words “I Love You” should not be alien to your children. You might say they know very well that you love them but you have to let them hear it constantly.

Tip #5 Show them you love them: you need to try as much as possible to show your children that you truly love them by your actions.

Tip #6Touch them: Hugs and kisses should not be reserved for babies alone, you need to display your affection for your children physically by touching them when you talk with them and give regular hugs and kisses as well.

Tip #7 Talk with them: Please don’t always talk at them, they need you to talk with them more. Start building this skill right from before they start talking and when they eventually start talking, engage them in conversations. This will help them build good interpersonal relationship skills.

Tip #8 Allow them trust you: endeavor to provide appropriate answers to them right from when they start asking questions, this way, they’ll trust you to give them the right information instead of seeking such from outsiders.

Tip #9 Don’t be too old school: always try to get into your child’s world once in a while. Know what is in vogue in your child’s age category, for instance you can sit with them to watch their favourite cartoon or TV show and talk about it together. You should also play with them. You may just have your best conversations while playing with them.

Tip #10 Give them the best: the best is not necessarily expensive, if you are a busy parent, your time may be worth more than the latest gadgets and toys, so try to take out time for your child on a regular basis.

By practicing these tips, you’ll succeed in raising assertive children with very healthy self-esteem. What’s more, they’ll be forever grateful!

Portrait of Happy Family In Park

Kindly follow @DrMorayoJimoh for more interesting updates on Child Development.

 


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A mother’s love: Love like no other

mothers loveIt’s February, the month of love, when we celebrate valentine. As in the last article, family is truly where love starts from. A person cannot give what he or she does not have as such, even as family is the first agent of socialization, it is also the first place where a person learns what love means. Right from birth, the attachment a child has with the mother is very crucial in the formation of interpersonal relationships with others in future. There is really nothing like the love between a mother and a new born infant. Such love is revealed in touch, stares, caring, sucking and feeding. While these activities go on, the child may either learn to trust or mistrust the care giver. Babies of responsive mothers develop trust while babies of unresponsive mothers may develop mistrust.

This may seem like a whole lot of psychology, but research shows that attachment in childhood influences personality and interpersonal relationships in adulthood. Just like a newborn infant seeks attention, we older “babies” are no different. Love thrives on attention. The amount of time you spend with your loved one be it your friend, spouse or family member determines the quality of such a relationship.

The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day– M. Grundlermothers love 2

Extending love to the younger generation contributes a lot to our own fulfillment as adults. Extending your attention, care, love, time and resources to your child or another leaves a lasting impact on that life which may culminate into eventual success.

The mother-child love is so strong that it comes with a lot of benefits. An enormous amount of literature and research have highlighted some of the following as benefits of a secure and strong bonding between a mother and a child.. You would love this:

  • Children grow up to become sociable with good interpersonal skills and less aggressive behaviors.
  • Strong bond determines whether a child develops a stable romantic relationship later in life.
  • Exposure to less stress occurring as a result of consistent responses to your child’s cries and frustrations optimizes brain development. On the other hand, high levels of stress may result in irreversible brain damage.
  • Children with a securely attached parenting are able to control their emotions.
  • They have a positive self-concept and high self esteem.
  • As adults, they are able to make positive assumptions about others as such they have better relationships.
  • When relating with others, they engage in more helping behaviors such as showing gratitude, appreciation, care, comfort, and volunteering.mom-kisses-child1

The above mentioned can only be made possible through a responsive parenting and bond between a caregiver and a child. The reverse is usually the case when parents are absent, negligent or abusive.

One way you can be more responsive to your child’s needs is by monitoring your child’s progress.

As the cell is to the body, so is the family to the society. You can learn more tips on parenting by following @drmorayojimoh on twitter.

 

 


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MANAGING DYSLEXIA WITH MINDFULNESS MEDITATION

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Every day school activity e.g. reading an interesting comprehension aloud in the class may seem so ordinary and stress free for most persons. There are however persons who find such tasks overwhelming. The letters may seem to dance as they read thus, experiencing difficulties reading them. Dyslexia is a difficulty of language development. It is the most common learning disability affecting about 5 in every 100 children across the globe.

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Dyslexia is a learning disability of reading characterized by the following symptoms.

  •       Difficulties with word recognition spelling and decoding.
  •       Difficulties reading fluently.
  •       Slow development of language skills.
  •       Auditory short term memory.
  •       Difficulties with directionality.

This differs in persons depending on the severity. Certain persons may experience more of the writing difficulties others may experience more of reading or directionality difficulties. Some persons show signs of difficulty with early reading and writing and then later experience other language skills disabilities. The above symptoms do not signify that the children have below average intelligence.

 

EFFECTS OF DYSLEXIA

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  1. SELF ESTEEM: The presence of the above symptoms often reduces an individual’s sense of self worth. This induces stress on the child and as a result, can make the child dread going to school. Dealing with the stress of school work makes for frustration and reduction in sense of self worth.
  2.  SOCIAL LIFE: Dyslexia makes it difficult for children to express themselves and others would also find it tasking to understand them. They also may find it difficult to understand jokes. Thus, making it difficult for them to relate with their peers and greatly limiting their social life.

 

  DIAGNOSIS

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Trained professionals can conduct certain assessments to determine/ identify it. You can also log on to www.mobilehealthconsult.org to book assessment appointments.

TREATMENT AND MANAGEMENT

  • MINDFULNESS: This is a complete focus of the present moment involving awareness of bodily sensations, the environment and thoughts without judging it as good or bad. It has been found severally to improve general well being especially psychological health.

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Through mindfulness, dyslexic individuals can improve their memory span. Mindfulness also would be key in increasing focus and attention when given  academic tasks thus, greatly improving verbal skills such as the skills of writing, and reading. With these  symptoms checkmated, feelings of self worth and social life gets greatly improved. The effects of mindfulness however are not automatic. It takes time, persistence and patience to master. Sign up for your Childs free mindfulness training today at www.mobilehealthconsult.org/smartmind.

 

  • DEVELOP AN ENGAGING LEARNING FORMAT FOR THE CHILD:

This is an individualized educational program should be carried out by the educational psychologist. This program should address the child’s needs and difficulties.

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  • PHONO-GRAPHIC READING METHODS:

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This involves combining words with pictures. This helps the children create a mental pictures of the words and thus helps the child have better memory.

  • EXPOSURE: it may be helpful to expose the child to oral reading, writing, drawing of texts of varying topics at an early stage.
  • Emotional support and encouragement would also be needful for the child.