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A mother’s love: Love like no other

mothers loveIt’s February, the month of love, when we celebrate valentine. As in the last article, family is truly where love starts from. A person cannot give what he or she does not have as such, even as family is the first agent of socialization, it is also the first place where a person learns what love means. Right from birth, the attachment a child has with the mother is very crucial in the formation of interpersonal relationships with others in future. There is really nothing like the love between a mother and a new born infant. Such love is revealed in touch, stares, caring, sucking and feeding. While these activities go on, the child may either learn to trust or mistrust the care giver. Babies of responsive mothers develop trust while babies of unresponsive mothers may develop mistrust.

This may seem like a whole lot of psychology, but research shows that attachment in childhood influences personality and interpersonal relationships in adulthood. Just like a newborn infant seeks attention, we older “babies” are no different. Love thrives on attention. The amount of time you spend with your loved one be it your friend, spouse or family member determines the quality of such a relationship.

The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day– M. Grundlermothers love 2

Extending love to the younger generation contributes a lot to our own fulfillment as adults. Extending your attention, care, love, time and resources to your child or another leaves a lasting impact on that life which may culminate into eventual success.

The mother-child love is so strong that it comes with a lot of benefits. An enormous amount of literature and research have highlighted some of the following as benefits of a secure and strong bonding between a mother and a child.. You would love this:

  • Children grow up to become sociable with good interpersonal skills and less aggressive behaviors.
  • Strong bond determines whether a child develops a stable romantic relationship later in life.
  • Exposure to less stress occurring as a result of consistent responses to your child’s cries and frustrations optimizes brain development. On the other hand, high levels of stress may result in irreversible brain damage.
  • Children with a securely attached parenting are able to control their emotions.
  • They have a positive self-concept and high self esteem.
  • As adults, they are able to make positive assumptions about others as such they have better relationships.
  • When relating with others, they engage in more helping behaviors such as showing gratitude, appreciation, care, comfort, and volunteering.mom-kisses-child1

The above mentioned can only be made possible through a responsive parenting and bond between a caregiver and a child. The reverse is usually the case when parents are absent, negligent or abusive.

One way you can be more responsive to your child’s needs is by monitoring your child’s progress.

As the cell is to the body, so is the family to the society. You can learn more tips on parenting by following @drmorayojimoh on twitter.

 

 

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Family Ties

“Family is the most important thing in the world.”Princess Diana

 familyThey have watched you laugh, cry, win or fail at different points in your life. They have seen you at your worst and best, they have shared in your joy and pain. They know and understand your strengths and weaknesses and they may seem to criticize you the most. You didn’t choose them and you can’t forget them in a hurry but out of all the people in this world, they are the ones that probably know, understand and accept you the most – Your family! Yes, your father, mother, sister, brother, spouse, children and significant others. They are the ones who will be with you in times of crises, celebration, mourning and even at death.

“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!”- Albert Einstein

 Every family is different, what applies to one family may not apply to another. It’s the uniqueness of your family that makes it special. You should cherish your family even with all the imperfections that forms part of it. The obvious truth is that there really is no perfect family no matter how perfect they may seem to the outside people. Every family  has their own challenges as well as strengths. Here’s a tip;

 Take time out to appreciate the positive sides of your family while refusing to mull over the negative aspects of your family. family 1

“When trouble comes, it’s your family that supports you.” – Guy Lafleur

 As humans,we have a  strong need to love and be loved and the family is usually the first platform where love is expressed such as in caring for and sharing with one another. The bond that ties your family together is not just blood, but more of the shared joy, love, memories and respect for each other. It’s the reason why you love your brother, sister or others in your family regardless of how much you have fought with them in the past or their weaknesses.

“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.” –  George Moore

 We have a responsibility to our family to keep it strong and knitted together in love. Doing this requires a daily effort on our part to invest in our family with our time, gifts and other resources.

Family ties are precious threads, no matter where we roam,

 They draw us close to those we love, and pull our hearts toward home.

“Love begins at home and its not how much we do, but how much love we put into that action”.- Mother Teresa

Welcome to the month of February, the season of love.loveEvery day this month… (and of course other months), make a conscious effort to put a smile on a family member’s face!

Love starts with you.


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It All Starts With You

It is still early in the New Year and yet most people are probably already struggling with their New Year resolutions. A number of people have given up on the idea altogether as each year they see themselves failing to attain the heights or landmarks they’d set for themselves. The first and most important thing is NEVER QUIT. We all struggle with our resolutions mainly because we fail to realize the vital first step to take, which is self-focus. In order to improve, one must reflect deeply on one’s self and ask questions like “what have I been doing wrong”, “what can I do better” and “what am I doing today that takes me closer to who I want to be tomorrow?” It is certain that the more you ask yourself these reflective questions the more you shall realize that IT ALL STARTS WITH YOU.

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Here are some things you will discover that will not only help you live up to your New Year resolutions but will ultimately improve you:

1. Negative behavioural patterns: As you reflect on yourself, you will begin to realize the harmful behavioural patterns 052713bucks-carl-sketch-blog480which continually hinder you each day from improving yourself. The Are-you-happy- bad habits you’ve hung on to for years, your approach to work and not getting enough or too much rest. Focus on the causes and effects of your present predominant behaviours. A diary or a jotter could be a very helpful way to keep track. Find out the harmful behavioural patterns that are taking you nowhere and immediately instigate a significant change in your daily routine. This leads us to the next point…

invest-in-you2. Self-investment: You will realize that a major hindrance in achieving ones goals is lack of self-confidence which corresponds to a lack of self-investment. You must invest in yourself; it is the only way you can improve yourself. Either you do so by starting frequent exercise, buying more books and reading widely or learn a new language. Each day, you must do something for yourself that would make you feel better and be better. Spare no expenses in self-investment in order to create the YOU and you will love. The more you invest in yourself, the more confident you will be and the more able you will be to achieve your resolutions.

You will also increase your…

  1. Personal Value: This is the aspect of yourself that no one else but you can touch, increase or decrease. You needvalue-1 to realize that no matter how many times you have failed, you never lose your value. Focus on the things about you that you can improve and forget about the things you can’t. Incessantly focusing on things we can’t change causes us to be insecure and underrate our own value. Accept who you are and then go on to improve your value by letting go of anything holding you back. Think of how you can increase your value in order to benefit others and not just yourself and you will not only value yourself but others would value you.


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Stress Management: Signs and Symptoms

stresssIn the first part of these series, we shared information about what stress is, how it affects us and some common stressors, in this second part, we are looking into the warning signs and symptoms of stress. You will benefit immensely from this article not just by reading it but by also looking through your lifestyle and having a self-analysis as regards each of the signs and symptoms as it applies to you because the more aware you are about stress, the easier it is to keep it at bay. Try to make it more practical by writing down one or more of these signs and symptoms that you have experienced persistently in this year and how it has affected an aspect of your life.

Here are some common signs and symptoms of stress:

  • Frequent headaches:stress_1521948c_1752604c if you experience persistent headaches such that you have to constantly be on medications, it is as a result of unchecked stress.
  • Tiredness and weakness: a lowered energy level is a sign of stress, if for instance you suddenly easily get tired and weak consistently, you may need to consider it as a warning sign.
  • Unwanted/unplanned weight gain/loss: stress can led you to eat more thanscale-weight-loss-600x450-TS-160476214 required (especially unhealthy foods) or make you loss appetite  completely thereby causing unhealthy weight gain or weight loss which you have not bargained for.

 

 

  • Tremors/ fidgeting: have you ever wondered why some people seem to have tremors or fidgets like hand tremors? well, that is something that could be as a result of stress. so if you ever find yourself experiencing tremors or fidgeting, then, stress may be the reason.
  • Decreased work efficiency/productivity: used to be highly productive?, used to be very efficient?, what happened along the way? stress happened! stress can lower your productivity by starting in subtle ways and ending with damaging results if not checked.
  • Nervousness: the more your stress levels, the more nervous you can become.
  • Reduced sexual desire/libido:  because stress affects the reproductive system as well, it can result in serious complications such as  a low sex drive or loss of libido and this will in turn cause problems in the relationship between couples. 

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  • Racing thoughts: having rapid thought patterns can be as a result of stress.
  • Difficulties with concentration/attention: finding it difficult to concentrate on a task or having struggles with attention could be as a result of stress.
  • Insomnia: this is a sleep disorder often characterized with difficulties sleeping (falling asleep and staying asleep) in the absence other health conditions, it could be as a result of stress.
  • Mood swings: this is a noticeable change in a person’s mood or emotional state that is a very common sign of stress. If you have noticed changes in your moods or you are experiencing unstable moods, it is is probably due to stress.
  • african-american-woman-stressedAnxiety: is an unpleasant state associated with nervous behaviour, worrying, apprehension and fear and can interfere with a person’s functioning.
  • Forgetfulness: the tendency to forget things is more likely to happen when stress is involved.

 

Having listed these signs and symptoms, it is important to know how to properly manage stress. Practical ways to manage stress will be the topic of discussion in the next article. 

Remember to follow @DrMorayoJimoh  for more interesting updates on stress management

 


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Stress Management: The Effects of Stress on your health

In this month, we are sharing information about stress management with very interesting topics and useful information to help you manage stress properly, we will be shedding light on what stress is, its effects on health, causes of stress, signs and symptoms of stress, ways to manage stress, clinical interventions and more eye opening information. This is the best information to get you going as the year wraps up and as you plan for the new year.

stressladysmallLife is full of ups and downs, challenges here and there, deadlines, frustrations, disappointments and expectations. As a result of this, many have taken up stressful living as a life style.  Stress is the psychological and physical reaction to the challenges of everyday life. It originates from the body’s response to a perceived threat or danger, this response is known as the “flight or fight response which helps the body deal with unexpected situations by releasing some stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol and  prepares the body for action resulting in an “emergency state”.  In this state, there is an increase in heart beat and blood pressure, breathing becomes faster, there is also more stamina and speed. However, when an individual is constantly operating on this “emergency state”, It often results in serious health consequences.

stress_responseStress affects certain parts of the body such as the brain and nerves, muscles and joints, pancreas, intestine, stomach, heart, respiratory system and reproductive system. Therefore, problems associated with these parts of the body are common when an individual is going through a lot of stress.

Stress has been linked to various physical and emotional problems some of which include;

  • Hypertension
  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Relationship problems
  • Burnoutblack_man_stress2
  • Heart problems
  • Insomnia
  • Migraine
  • Memory problems
  • Aches and pains

It also increases the body’s susceptibility to infections by weakening the immune system.

 

Anything that can cause stress is known as a stressor, which can be negative events or positive ones. Here are some common stressors:

  • Financial problems
  • Excessive job demands
  • Family problemsgeneral-stressors-banner20130829-28277-1g37to3-0_540x245
  • Fear
  • Worrying
  • Death of a loved one
  • Threatening life events such as accidents and disasters
  • Marriage
  • Getting a new job
  • Divorce
  • Unemployment

 

Keep in mind that negative things will happen in life but it is how you are able to handle these negative situations that determines how much you can cope with stress. The warning signs of stress and more information will be discussed in the next article.

kindly visit www.mobilehealth consult.org also, follow @Drmorayojimoh for more interesting update on stress management.

 

 

 

 

 


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Bringing Out the Best in Children

Preschoolers can be difficult to manage… The same may apply to all children. They have so much energy to throw around and getting them to sit still is much like a herculean task to not just parents but teachers as well. Children, especially the younger ones, use play as a medium to release tension  and ease as such when they feel anxious or uncomfortable, they try to engage in one form of playful activity or the other. However, you don’t want your child or pupils running about when you need their full attention.

So how can you get their attention?

How can you get them to sit still and learn?

How can you get them to be calm?

How can you help them regulate their emotions?

MINDFULNESS is the SOLUTION! 

child-meditation Mindfulness is being fully aware of this present moment, fully accepting it without judgment. It is paying full attention to your thoughts, feelings and emotions HERE and NOW. It involves deep breathing and calming techniques. These days, mindfulness has proved to be the answer to many questions. Enormous research has shown how mindfulness can help adults improve their brain function, reduce stress and enjoy better relationships. In recent times, researchers and practitioners have begun to focus on how this practice can be beneficial to children and adolescents in primary and secondary schools, children with cancer, learning disabilities, autism, etc. mindful childA number of schools in the United States are incorporating Mindfulness Programs into their school program- Mindful Program at Maryland High Schools. A recent research by University of Florida shows that stressful events in the environment can take a negative toll on a child’s mental and physical health which includes the onset of learning difficulties. As such mindfulness aims at reducing the effects of stress. Other benefits of Mindfulness include:

  • Building resiliencehappy child
  • Strengthening character development
  • Increasing focus and concentration
  • Improving  brain function
  • Improving sleep quality
  • Reducing stress levels and improving  coping ability
  • Inducing calmness and relaxation
  • Self regulation and control
  • Increasing their capacity for empathy and compassion

Mostly the same benefits that accrue to adults can be experienced by children ages 3 and above.

Mobile Health Consult is offering a Mindfulness program for students tagged “SMART MIND”. For more enquiries, consultation and procedure for enrollment, kindly log on to http://www.mobilehealthconsult.org/smartmind/

The only way to know what mindfulness is, is to experience it! Sign up for a FREE Training now on: 

http://www.mobilehealthconsult.org/values/therapy/mindfulness/

SPREAD the word! Be MINDFUL


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Let It Go!

“Father forgive them, for they know no what they do”. This is a quote from the Bible spoken by Jesus Christ to those who had just tortured and nailed him onto a cross. Regardless of your religion and whether or not you believe it happened, one thing can be rest assured, through all the pain, He died the most peaceful death. Why? Because He let go of any hate, anger or resentment against those who had wronged him.

Many times we hope for peace of mind and happiness, but we fail to identify the everyday factors that determine our mental well-being. A major factor is being unforgiving. Keeping anger and holding grudges is a very common self-destructive behaviour that human beings have adopted. Most times we rather delve in thoughts of how we were wronged and vengeance than just letting it go! We even find it hard forgiving ourselves when we make mistakes and wallow in continuous self-scrutiny. Holding grudges has destroyed many bonds between peoletting-gople and will continue to. Absolutely nothing positive comes out of being resentful. We are adversely affected mentally and it begins to show in our behaviours, learning and attitude towards life. Let it go! Free yourself!

Now letting go of grudges and resentments are not easy at all. We all deserve ‘justice’ to an extent. However we have to train ourselves to let go as soon as possible for the sake of our states of mind. Given a situation were you have little control over, such as an abusive driver cursing you before speeding off, why choose to analyze his or her obscene words and how they wound your pride (you might even consider chasing the car to abuse back) instead of immediately taking your mind off? One could ruin the rest of your day while the other wouldn’t. There are 3 steps that could help get rid of grudges quickly:

 

all_my_fault-021. Accept your feelings: Accept that you are indeed angry and or deeply hurt by what someone has done to you, or in other cases what you’ve done to yourself. Don’t try to mask this feeling by blame or channel it to negative thoughts about the person or yourself. Accept this feeling for what it is, an emotional response to a negative event and nothing more.

 

 

2. React mindfully: As we know for every action there is a reaction. More emphasis has also been laid on the reaction thanwiseman the action. How we react is VERY important in every situation. Mindfully reacting would be to aim to react in the best way for your mental well-being, which is normally to calm a heated situation or more generally focus on an immediate solution. Again, this would require mental awareness and self-control and our basic instincts usually drive us to retaliate. It could make it easier if you mention that he or she upset you or has hurt you, not so you get an apology because not getting one after such expressiveness could anger you further, but just to get it off your chest so you’re not brewing anything negative. The way you react either makes it significantly easier for you to let it go or significantly more difficult. Learn to react wisely.

 

move on3. Move on: Never raise the issue again. Try your best to forget it. Naturally the occurrence may flash in your head but do not invite the thought as it would adversely affect your mood. Take your mind off it as soon as possible. Let your mind be used to a state of positivity and you’d find moving on would get easier the more you try.

 

None of these steps are easy, especially in this fast paced modern world were everyone is so self-interested and getting more and more indifferent towards others. However, continuous practice starting from the moment you finish reading this article would help you to maintain a state of mind that most others would not be able to fathom. All because you’ve made a firm decision to let things go.

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