Still single due to mistrust?

Mistrust often occurs as a result of negative past experiences either with parents, lovers or someone once trusted in the past. The pain caused by that person’s “betrayal” tends to create a significant level of anxiety which deters people from having confidence in another. This reaction although logical could drastically hinder interpersonal relationships and could ultimately destroy, if not prevent, romantic relationships. A number of people, probably more common in women, prefer to stay away from romantic relationships in order to prevent emotional dependence on another as that would leave them vulnerable to the pain of heartbreak. This anxiety, among other set-backs, could lead to depression and loneliness. However, if you are single due to trust issues it is not the end of the world. There are some solutions which could help your situation.

1. Trust yourself. People often blame themselves when they have been betrayed in the past and implicitly do not trust that they can separate the trustworthy from the untrustworthy anymore. It is very difficult to trust others when you do not trust yourself. Create inner confidence in yourself by exploring your fears and being mentally aware of how they hold you back.

2. Take a leap. Extra caution is your comfort zone, get out of it. Get close to someone who have had in mind and carefully steer the relationship by being as honest to them as you would want them to be with you. Let them know how you feel most times and ease into emotional bonding which you have feared so much in the past. Let the person know from the start that you want to slowly ease into the relationship. As you ease into the relationship, continually remind yourself that you should not punish this person for another’s mistake and give them a chance to prove their loyalty.

3. Learn from mistakes. We all make mistakes and will continue to, so why not learn from them? As quoted from Rafiki the Baboon from the Disney picture The Lion King, the past does hurt, but you can either run from it or learn from it. The wiser decision would be to learn from your past mistakes and let that pain from the past, if any, go. This is difficult but would be easier if you focus on the present moment and prepare for the future with whoever you choose. This awareness of the present moment, which is a core principle of mindfulness meditation, is vital in order to reduce anxiety and significantly improve interpersonal relationships.

There is usually a fear of not being able to handle being betrayed by the one person you finally decided to let your guard down for and trust. Don’t worry about that. Having taken these steps you will be self-assured and would find moving on with life much easier than you think. Do not be anxious about past mistakes or about the future. Enjoy each moment.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
― Ernest Hemingway

The Secret to Better Relationships

Relationships are usually said to be the most meaningful part of people’s lives. Be it parent-child relationships, romantic relationships or relationships with colleagues at work, man as a social being has an innate need to bond with others. Over time, we become dependent on the significant relationships we have formed which affect our well-being.

It is well known that most, if not all, relationships are imperfect. Furthermore, as time goes by, changes that occur in one’s life could either affect a significant relationship positively or adversely. These life changes include ageing, moving from one job to another or the death of a family member. Regardless of these, there is a secret that will improve your relationships and guard them from whatever changes or inconveniences life may bring.

“The secret to better relationships lies in the practice of mindfulness meditation.”

Mindfulness, involves being fully aware of the present moment. It awakens your consciousness to your emotions and also those of others. With mindfulness, you can easily perceive underlying intentions and subjective feelings which improve your understanding of others and capacity for empathy and compassion. Practicing mindfulness can make your relationships better in the following ways:

1. Discovery 

Mindfulness meditation enables one to focus deeply on the present moment which encourages further discovery of oneself and others. For example, romantic relationships often get to the point where it becomes routine and boring and this could be harmful for any relationship. Mindfulness helps you discover aspects of yourself, your partner, child or colleague that you may have missed in previous times due to lack of focus or change in the person over time. This helps you to see yourself and others in a new light and would prevent a routine relationship.

2. Self-Love 

Mindfulness elicits self-appreciation and self-satisfaction. At that moment you accept yourself with all your imperfections and bask in your inner thoughts about you. You learn to love yourself. Do more things you like, eat what you like, go where you like and even make better decisions in life. In order to love others in relationships you must first LOVE YOURSELF. You cannot give what you do not have. You would need to be satisfied with yourself in order to readily see the best in others. Pretense or putting up a façade harms relationships. As such, a genuine love for oneself leads to self-acceptance and being one’s self which is key to any healthy relationship.

3. Managing emotions 

Mismanagement of emotions is a major cause of conflict in relationships. Mindfulness meditation makes you realize that you have control over your emotions and only YOU can make YOU sad or happy. This way you do not blame others for your emotions but take full accountability for them.

Techniques used in mindfulness meditation can be used by anyone anywhere and at any time. Techniques such as couples meditation helps couples connect more deeply each day and increases levels of empathy in relationships. Mindfulness meditation is done at the discretion of the individual and usually becomes a life-long habit that would continually improve you as an individual as well as various relationships with others.

Now you know the secret to better relationships!

Begin by registering for a FREE mindfulness meditation training, follow this link: http://www.mobilehealthconsult.org/?page_id=1008