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To Love Mindfully

valentine

“…When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

We all have our fantasies when it comes to being in relationships, be it in dating, courtship or in marriage. It could be a deep desire to be treated with so much love from our partners but this may not always be the case. Certainly, relationships can have its share of ups & downs, good & bad times, happy memories & painful ones as well but above all, the success of any relationship is largely dependent on how such a relationship is being handled by the parties involved. When there are unchecked deficits on the part of either or both parties with regards to how they treat each other, such relationships may be headed for the rocks on the long run.

It’s valentine once again and lovers all around the world seem to be getting more and more creative on how to express their love and bring happiness to their partners/spouses with special gifts, love notes/letters, surprises, romantic dates and so much more.

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Be as creative as you can this valentine to touch the heart of your special one with everything you say and do!

But do you know that it could be so much more wonderful if it extends beyond Valentine’s day?

Yes, it sure can!

It is by loving mindfully. Which implies that you become more intentional about how you treat your partner/spouse DAILY as opposed to being mindless every other day. Being mindful about loving your special one will involve deliberately gaining more “awareness” of him/her as much as possible by paying attention and studying him/her wholly so as to become more responsive to his/her own peculiar needs.

Here is a daily love challenge that will involve you and your partner/spouse to be more mindful about how you express love to each other for the next 30 days.

Get him/her involved and make a commitment to each other today to mindfully DO something special or UNEXPECTED for yourselves every day.

Try not to be predictable and keep him/her guessing.

It is really not in the volume of what you do but in the thoughtfulness.

Feel free to share your experiences with us and extend the challenge days until it becomes a daily practice. You’ll find that both of you will become closer, more affectionate and fulfilled in the relationship as you treat each other better everyday!

Remember, NEVER stop treating each other in a special way!

Happy Valentine from all of us at Mobile Heath Consult. You can join the conversation as we celebrate love this February by following me on twitter @DrMorayoJimoh.

happy-valentines-day

 


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Trapped or Free?

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Rose and Isaac fell so deeply in love with each other back in school. They decided to take their relationship a step further by getting married after 2 years of dating. They both had a perfect picture of what marriage would be like and often talked about all the sweet feelings they looked forward to. Rose felt she had what it takes to be a wife and Isaac likewise believed that he had what it takes to be a husband.

First year of their marriage seemed like a dream come true in every aspect. The next few years also had some sweetness and adventure. It went on like this for a while until things started to change gradually, the affectionate feelings started to dwindle and they both began capitalizing on each other’s flaws with their fights becoming more intense. At the 5th year of marriage, they could barely look each other in the eyes without having a flash of memories about each other’s wrong doings.

What went wrong?    

Let’s take a look at marriage for what it really is; Marriage is intended for companionship, mutual understanding, love, care, support and togetherness. It is a union where either party should be free to express and receive love. However, the focus should be more on giving rather than on expecting.

Wait a minute… more about giving? I thought  marriage was supposed to make ME happier, make ME feel more loved, Make ME smile, make ME fulfilled, make ME complete, make ME feel good about MYSELF or make ME enjoy life more.

Well, the truth regarding this is that marriage cannot make you happy if you haven’t found happiness within yourself yet. Neither can it fill up the emptiness you feel on your inside if you don’t love yourself enough. This is simply because the more you love yourself, the better a lover you can be to your spouse. So it isn’t totally about what you can get but about what you are capable of giving towards the success of your marriage.   

what you haveFor marriages to be truly fulfilling, couples need to be willing to put in a lot of conscious effort to make it work. Step out of the fairy tale fantasies about marriage every once in a while and work it out with your spouse. It is when you do so that you can really experience the happily ever after created by you of course!

When couples fail to play their part towards creating a healthy relationship with one another, one or both may tend to feel trapped in the marriage and resort to seeking a quick way out. Sadly this has become so common.

To improve the quality of your marriage, you must endeavor to be skilled in the following:

Forgive easily: There is absolutely no guarantee that your spouse won’t do something that can hurt you again and again and yet again… but don’t continue piling up unresolved conflicts that arise as a result of unforgiveness rather, be willing to forgive your spouse when he/she goes wrong no matter the cost. Ensure not to bring up past mistakes and never compare your spouse with someone else.  You really don’t need all the heart aches that build up as a result of unforgiveness and you find that you are happier when you forgive easily. If you are not willing to forgive easily then you are not ready to make your marriage work.

Make your communication effective: Couples need to be able to talk with each other about everything that concerns them. Talk about sex, talk about finances, talk about plans for the family and talk about your relationship with each other and how you both can improve on how you treat each other.

Be creative: Add spice to your marriage by becoming more creative in every aspect. Be less predictable and keep your spouse guessing. Invest your time and money into the success of your marriage.

happy-older-couple-111120Keep in mind that your marriage is what you make of it. So if you are willing to make it work, then learn to forgive your spouse easily, be creative and make your communication effective.

Kindly follow me on twitter @DrMorayoJimoh for more interesting updates.

 


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Much More Than Roses

loveGiving or expecting valentine gifts anytime soon? Well, this time let’s do something entirely different for our loved ones. You may wish to wrap up your gifts nicely as planned but kindly have them tucked away for a moment as we undergo a short trip into our hearts.

To do this, you’ll have to be completely honest with each other in a non-judgmental and non-blame way.

Map out a plan to spend quality time with your loved one to totally open up your deepest thoughts and feelings about your relationship with him/her. Share memories from when you first met, the first times special things happened between both of you, how he/she made you feel, what attracted you to him/her, your hopes and dreams about each other, promises made to each other and much more.

Next, remind each other about the journey so far, about how well the relationship has fared, how well you were able to keep the promises made or not, remember the challenging moments, remember the success stories, remember the times you almost gave up or when you broke up and made up again, remember the conversations, the special and not so special moments too.

Now, to the present moment, give yourself a sincere answer to this question;

Has this relationship made me a better person?

Sincerely analyze the current state of your relationship,

Are you satisfied with it?

Ask each other questions about your relationship, this is the time to search deep within your hearts and resolve every form of strife, misunderstanding and differences between both of you. The following questions might be of help:

  • Have I changed in any way from the man/woman you fell in love with?
  • What particular aspects have I faltered?
  • What areas have I lived up to expectations?
  • What are those things that you cherish about us?
  • How can you help me improve and love you better?
  • What are the exact things you want more of?
  • What are the exact things you want me to stop doing?
  • How can I please you more?

couple-talkingThis will open your eyes to many things you may have taken for granted about each other and if properly done, this appraisal can be life transforming for both of you. Take it a step further by noting down the action points from this powerful conversation with your loved one and delve into action immediately. This will make you more conscious of how you treat each other every day.

You can have conversations like this on a monthly basis, yearly or on your anniversaries.

You can now proceed to opening your gifts for each other and enjoy a beautiful Valentine together.

For more juicy extracts on #Lovetalks, follow me on twitter @Drmorayojimoh.

Happy Valentine’s day from all of us at Mobile Heath Consult.

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Friends Make Better Lovers

man-and-woman-gamingBeing in love is one of the greatest gifts of life. The sharing of affectionate feelings with one another is a vital part of our human experience. No one can live without a measure of love in their life. This is because of our innate need to interact and form bonds with one another. Love consists of companionship, commitment, mutual respect, understanding, harmony, intimacy, communication, honesty, openness and more. Above all, friendship binds all these attributes together.

Friendship has a huge role to play in the success of a relationship. When people are not satisfied with their relationships, they often demand for more such as more intimacy, commitment, honesty, companionship and more. Little do they know that friendship encompasses all of that!

love-couple-imagesWhen you are really friends with each other, you’ll experience a more fulfilling love life where intimacy is deeper, commitment is stronger, communication is fantastic, and you are more open with each other. When you truly accept each other regardless of your flaws and focus more on your strengths you’ll find it much easier to forge stronger bonds.

Being friends with each other is simply doing what friends do!

So what do friends do?

Friends know each other

Friends talk with each other

Friends play together

Friends care about each other

Friends enjoy each other’s company

Friends protect each other

Friends share with each other

Friends make & keep special memories

Friends give to each other

Friends meet each other’s needs

Friends cherish their relationship

Friends spend quality time with each other

Friends encourage each other

Friends don’t judge each other

 Building a successful relationship involves actively seeking out ways to be better.  It may involve doing just about anything to keep the fire burning brighter and on the long run, keep the relationship free from the unnecessary fatigue that can set in after time takes its toll.

love-hug1In a nutshell, do EVERYTHING that friends do to become better lovers!

Remember to follow me on twitter @drmorayojimoh for more fun updates on #Lovetalks.


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Love at First Sight

fulfilled-woman

“Wouldn’t it be powerful if you fell in love with yourself so deeply that you would do just about anything if you knew it would make you happy?

This is precisely how much life loves you and wants you to nurture yourself.

The deeper you love yourself, the more the universe will affirm your worth.

Then you can enjoy a lifelong love affair that brings you

the richest fulfillment from inside out”

– Alan Cohen

Thank God for mirrors! It is a wonderful tool that can show you a view of what you look like physically but it is limited because it really can’t show you what you have on your inside.

No matter what you have struggled with in the past from having a low self-esteem to feeling inferior, feeling unwanted or ugly… the moment you begin to accept yourself, refuse to seek/depend on people’s approval of you, develop a healthy self-esteem and gradually love yourself one step at a time, you’ll notice that overtime that same mirror will reveal a more beautiful you!

But do you know that it’s actually not the mirror, it’s you….

because you now accept yourself and love yourself more, everything begins to align to the new perception of yourself EVEN YOUR MIRROR!

Here is how to begin loving yourself

  • Start by being aware of something good about yourself, it may be as little as your hair texture or length, your nails, your eyes or any other body parts that you see as attractive. It may not necessarily be a body part it could be a character trait, the way you smile or your personality….
  • Next, start appreciating that good aspect then you’ll realize that your eyes will be opened to see other beautiful aspects of you too. You’ll be shocked at how much beauty you had locked up all these years.
  • Remember those parts of you that you were uncomfortable with? Start seeing them in a better way and if you feel a need to work on them like exercising more and eating healthier then you can do so, BUT, do so for yourself so that you can be healthy and not for someone else. Remember that on your journey to achieving your goals, you need to love yourself every step of the way.
  • Give yourself a second chance by forgiving yourself easily when you go wrong. Be optimistic and believe in yourself always.
  • Be affirmative by speaking positive words concerning yourself “I can do this” “I will be the best me today” I am attractive”, I am a valuable person” etc.

When you love yourself, you create your own happiness. Click HERE to learn more about creating Happiness.

Girl-mirrorWhen you wake up in the morning, take a look into the mirror and let your reflection be the first sight you fall in love with every day. Don’t forget that your relationship with others will be more fulfilling when you have a fulfilling relationship with your own self.

 Kindly follow me on twitter @Drmorayojimoh for more #Lovetalks

 

 

 


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Enjoying your own company

“If you make friends with yourself, you’ll never be lonely” –Maxwell Maltz

happy-black-womanStrap your seat belt as we take a journey into ourselves but first, what really comes to mind when asked the common question; “who are you? ” or “tell me about yourself”

Can you tell who you really are?

Do you know yourself well enough?

Do you know for certain what you are capable of doing?

Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

As relational beings, we are constantly relating with others in our lives. We have family, friends and others in our society constantly demanding for our attention.  The relationship with others in our lives is necessary but what is more important is our relationship with ourselves i.e our intrapersonal relationship. People often go to great lengths to gain skills that will enable them relate better with others in their lives with little emphasis being placed on how well they relate with their own selves.

Let’s make this a bit more practical, take it a challenge; choose a day or maybe one hour to be by yourself. No other person around, no calls, no chats just you…. Then see how well you thrive when you are not in the company of others.

Stop+Feeling+HelplessIf all you get is boredom, loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, suicidal thoughts, feeling of worthlessness, fear and all such negative feelings, then something is not right with the quality of your intrapersonal relationship.  Some are fantastic when it comes to relating with others and may often avoid being alone for the shortest possible time, they rather thrive well in the company of others. Such people are quick to judge themselves as friendly… but the truth is that they may actually not be friends with their own selves and often have problems in their relationship with others as well. Some others find that they are unable to enjoy their own company and the company of others as well. The third set of people find that they may enjoy their own company and have issues relating with others outside themselves…

It is important to note that none of these three extremes is encouraged but rather, there should be a balance wherein we can have a healthy intrapersonal relationship as well as healthy interpersonal relationships.

The quality of your intrapersonal relationship determines the quality of your interpersonal relationship

When you improve on your intrapersonal relationship, your interpersonal relationships get even better and more fulfilling.

Here are some amazing ways to develop a healthy relationship with yourself

  1. Know yourself: knowing yourself is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with yourself. You may think you know yourself well enough but you still need to do a deeper study of yourself. You’ll notice that some things change as you age while some don’t. Also, know your strengths and weakness, know what to avoid and what to delve into, be sincere with yourself, for example, if you cannot handle harsh criticisms don’t go looking for it. Know what makes you happy and go for it!
  2. Practice Mindfulness meditation: man-breathingbeing mindful is simply learning to gain awareness of the present moment, your present thoughts and feelings. Most of time we are unaware of these bodily functions. If you were told to describe how you feel right now what will it be? Stressed?, sad?, uneasy?, relaxed?, happy?, angry?, loved?, unwanted? Or fulfilled?. Now let’s have a quick mindfulness practice, notice when you breathe in and out…. Then take the “in breath” slow……………..ly and the “out breath” slow………………ly also. Do this for about 2 minutes at different times today and every single day. That’s the beginning of being mindful! For more information about mindfulness, kindly visit mobilehealthconsult.org
  3. Be yourself: you are the only YOU in the entire galaxy! So enjoy being you. You may feel that your weaknesses far outweighs your strengths. Well, look inside you once again and search deep within you. If you are sincere with yourself well enough to know your weaknesses, then the fact that you can bring it to the level of your consciousness means it is 50% resolved!. Be yourself through your journey to become better every day!

Don’t let anyone or societal standards make you feel any less of yourself. Enjoy being you, enjoy your own company, communicate with yourself and have a bank of happy memories about yourself and your achievements. Remember, the better the quality of your intrapersonal relationship, the more fulfilling your interpersonal relationships will be.

Don’t forget to be your own friend and follow me on twitter @drmorayojimoh for more amazing updates on #Intrapersonalrelationship.


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Keys to Happiness

Happy Holidays from Mobile Health Consult.

We wish you happiness during the holidays and everyday of the New Year!!

Kindly click the following link to download the Happiness Gift for the holidays and everyday of the New Year!

Keys To Happiness

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Gain 3 powerful keys to enjoy happiness everyday.