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WHAT IF I FAIL AGAIN?

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Failure is the opportunity to begin again, only more intelligently. – Henry Ford.

Are you scared of taking on a challenge all because you think you might not succeed? Are you holding yourself back from starting that project because you are scared you might fail? Or are you just so afraid of failing that it causes you to be stuck or moving on? Or you hesitate from trying, thinking you are not good enough?

Everyone has experienced failure at one point or another but that doesn’t have to hinder you from trying neither does it have to be the end of it. More often than not, to succeed at times we need to have failed at a point. Failure is a way of learning to think of better ways to achieve our set goals in order to come out with excellent outcomes better than we ever thought.

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Funny it may seem that what a person may categorize as failure may just be an opportunity to learn for another. The thought of failing can be scary, true; but when you are so scared of failing that you allow it stop you from doing something that will bring your progress, hence, causing you to be stuck and hinder you from progressing, you are experiencing what is referred to as ‘Atychiphobia’ – fear of failure.

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A person is said have phobia when he/she has an extreme, unreasonable or irrational fear of something or situations as a result of being exposed to certain situations, objects, places or creatures. A person is said to have ‘Atychiphobia’ if he/she is experiencing persistent, recurrent and irrational fear of failure.

Phobias like ‘Atychiphobia’ can be so extreme that they completely paralyze you, making it difficult to carry on with your tasks at home, school, or work. You may even miss out on important opportunities in your life, both personally and professionally.

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Failure does one of two things: it will either keep you stuck or get you moving!

CAUSES OF ATYCHIPHOBIA

It may be difficult to say what the real cause behind one’s fear of failure is but one is likely to have a fear of failure if:

  1. You have watched other people fail and perhaps not able to recover from it. This is called ‘Observational Learning Experience’.
  2. You heard or read stories about other people’s experience and as a result, you developed fear of failure. This is called ‘Informational Learning Experience’.
  3. You have had personal past experiences of failure that resulted in serious consequences; for example, losing a job.

SYMPTOMS OF ATYCHIPHOBIA

The symptoms range in severity from mildly severe to extremely severe. You may experience some of these symptoms if have a fear of failure:-

  1. You may feel reluctant to explore new things or ideas or take on challenging tasks.
  2. When you have a low self-esteem or lack of confidence in yourself.
  3. Uttering negative statements like ‘I am not good enough to take on that project’.
  4. When you are fond of procrastinating; that is, postponing your set out goals because you too scared of starting.
  5. If you are only willing to try as long as you certain that the outcome will be positive – perfectionism.

Other symptoms may include;

  1. Intense feeling of panic or anxiety.
  2. A serious need to escape a situation that produces the fear.
  3. Feeling detached from yourself.
  4. When you feel you don’t have control over a situation
  5. When you generally feel powerless over your fear.

HOW TO OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF FAILURE

  • If you are experiencing Atychiphobia, the first step to overcoming it is to believe in yourself that you are good enough and try again.
  • It’s best to seek the help of a professional, a psychotherapist or perhaps a Certified Psychologist for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This will give you exposure to the tools that you need to overcome your fear of failure.

For more information on the therapy procedures visit our website on www.mobilehealthconsult.org and remember to follow @DrMorayoJimoh on twitter.

 

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Enjoying your own company

“If you make friends with yourself, you’ll never be lonely” –Maxwell Maltz

happy-black-womanStrap your seat belt as we take a journey into ourselves but first, what really comes to mind when asked the common question; “who are you? ” or “tell me about yourself”

Can you tell who you really are?

Do you know yourself well enough?

Do you know for certain what you are capable of doing?

Do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

As relational beings, we are constantly relating with others in our lives. We have family, friends and others in our society constantly demanding for our attention.  The relationship with others in our lives is necessary but what is more important is our relationship with ourselves i.e our intrapersonal relationship. People often go to great lengths to gain skills that will enable them relate better with others in their lives with little emphasis being placed on how well they relate with their own selves.

Let’s make this a bit more practical, take it a challenge; choose a day or maybe one hour to be by yourself. No other person around, no calls, no chats just you…. Then see how well you thrive when you are not in the company of others.

Stop+Feeling+HelplessIf all you get is boredom, loneliness, hopelessness, helplessness, suicidal thoughts, feeling of worthlessness, fear and all such negative feelings, then something is not right with the quality of your intrapersonal relationship.  Some are fantastic when it comes to relating with others and may often avoid being alone for the shortest possible time, they rather thrive well in the company of others. Such people are quick to judge themselves as friendly… but the truth is that they may actually not be friends with their own selves and often have problems in their relationship with others as well. Some others find that they are unable to enjoy their own company and the company of others as well. The third set of people find that they may enjoy their own company and have issues relating with others outside themselves…

It is important to note that none of these three extremes is encouraged but rather, there should be a balance wherein we can have a healthy intrapersonal relationship as well as healthy interpersonal relationships.

The quality of your intrapersonal relationship determines the quality of your interpersonal relationship

When you improve on your intrapersonal relationship, your interpersonal relationships get even better and more fulfilling.

Here are some amazing ways to develop a healthy relationship with yourself

  1. Know yourself: knowing yourself is the foundation for building a healthy relationship with yourself. You may think you know yourself well enough but you still need to do a deeper study of yourself. You’ll notice that some things change as you age while some don’t. Also, know your strengths and weakness, know what to avoid and what to delve into, be sincere with yourself, for example, if you cannot handle harsh criticisms don’t go looking for it. Know what makes you happy and go for it!
  2. Practice Mindfulness meditation: man-breathingbeing mindful is simply learning to gain awareness of the present moment, your present thoughts and feelings. Most of time we are unaware of these bodily functions. If you were told to describe how you feel right now what will it be? Stressed?, sad?, uneasy?, relaxed?, happy?, angry?, loved?, unwanted? Or fulfilled?. Now let’s have a quick mindfulness practice, notice when you breathe in and out…. Then take the “in breath” slow……………..ly and the “out breath” slow………………ly also. Do this for about 2 minutes at different times today and every single day. That’s the beginning of being mindful! For more information about mindfulness, kindly visit mobilehealthconsult.org
  3. Be yourself: you are the only YOU in the entire galaxy! So enjoy being you. You may feel that your weaknesses far outweighs your strengths. Well, look inside you once again and search deep within you. If you are sincere with yourself well enough to know your weaknesses, then the fact that you can bring it to the level of your consciousness means it is 50% resolved!. Be yourself through your journey to become better every day!

Don’t let anyone or societal standards make you feel any less of yourself. Enjoy being you, enjoy your own company, communicate with yourself and have a bank of happy memories about yourself and your achievements. Remember, the better the quality of your intrapersonal relationship, the more fulfilling your interpersonal relationships will be.

Don’t forget to be your own friend and follow me on twitter @drmorayojimoh for more amazing updates on #Intrapersonalrelationship.