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Take a Stand!

family-therapy-headerThe foundation of our society is built on the bedrock of the family. We all are products of a family regardless of the size and although we may not all be totally pleased with the type of family we come from, it is of no doubt that our families play an integral role in much of what we are right now. This is because most of our strongly held values, beliefs, thought patterns and behaviour are largely influenced by our family.

“Charity they say begins at home” if this is true, it also means that the opposite holds. Hence:

“Dysfunctional homes breeds a dysfunctional society”

Of a truth most of the problems plaguing our society today can be traced back to our homes. It is therefore only logical to see that the solutions to these problems can be sourced from the home front. The family is a microcosm of the larger society which makes it a kind of preparatory school for us to learn the values and ways of life before going out into the world to find our path. These homemade lessons go a long way in determining who we become and our contributions to the society at large. Truly, the importance of families cannot be over emphasized!

But then, if we really pay close attention to the current societal norms, we will realize that the rate at which families are falling apart is quite alarming. Even those that are holding up are doing so on a very thin line that could snap at any moment.

Won’t our societies become totally helpless if this age old heritage goes extinct?

What can we do to preserve our families?

One way to sustain this integral part of our human experience called ‘family’ is through “friendship”. Being friends with our family members will enable us communicate better and help us value one another more.  We all have roles to play here, parents be friends with your children, children be friends with your parents, siblings, cousins, aunties, uncles and grand parents also. When we let ourselves fall in love with our family and appreciate them for who they are and what they mean to us, we are sending positive messages which will reflect back on us thereby making the love go all around.

We get back what we send to the universe and as much as we keep pelting our families with stones of ingratitude,

we are unconsciously reinforcing those behaviours that caused

the problems in the first place!

Rather, we should learn to make excuses for our families… and be willing to give them another chance not a second chance but ANOTHER chance.

No one is perfect, but we can try to get better each time. So our priority should be on helping each other be the best we can be.

The quality of your life can be measured by the impact you make on the lives of others and your home affords you a better opportunity to reach out and touch the lives of people who are really so dear to you.

family-meeting-300x198The greatest possessions we truly have are our family but painfully, we really don’t appreciate them well enough until they are no more. Then we start dwelling on memories…

Don’t let that be your story, express gratitude and re-establish those ties that bind you to your roots.

We need to re-open closed down communication lines and find ways to settle old rifts by forgiving past mistakes and giving chances for reconciliation.

We are family not just because we share the same blood line or name but because we share a heritage that money can’t buy!

Nothing in this world can replace the love, support, care, strength and drive that a healthy family relationship builds in us.

To do better, we need to stand for each other!

The future depends on us, our society needs a change, the human race must continue, our families must be saved!

Do the needful while you still can and take your family to greater heights. Sow new seeds of friendship and you can be assured that you will enjoy all the benefits.

primarycareIt really doesn’t matter how bad things are right now, just start today, make a change today, give your home your best, take a stand and see our world become a better place for us and coming generations.

Follow me on twitter @DrMorayoJimoh for more captivating updates on #TakeAStand!

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Strengthening Family Relationships during the Holidays

din

During this time of the year, many families are engaged in various activities like going on trips, reunions, parties, meetings and so on with the aim of reconnecting and reinforcing family ties.  The December holiday season also provides an opportunity for estranged family members to restore their relationships and settle all forms of acrimony that may exist amongst them.

“Well, what better time is there to strengthen your most important relationships than during the holidays?”

While some may have it easy when it comes to reconnecting with their family members, on the contrary, there are some others who really want to reconnect as well but they may find it difficult to do so and this might make them tend towards depression, anxiety and all other forms of negative feelings at such a time when they should be having fun!

However the current strength of your family relationship, the following are keys to help restore and further strengthen your family ties during this holiday season.

1. Effective Communication    78631212_XS (1)

Communication is one of the most vital aspects of nurturing any relationship and it goes beyond mere verbal expression. Keep in mind that when communicating, your facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice and other forms of body language can speak more volume than what you may intend especially when it comes to family relationships. The tricky part is that you may be unaware of your non-verbal communication towards your family as a result of familiarity or otherwise. During this holiday, make a commitment to be more conscious and courteous about your non-verbal communication with your family in order to boost the effectiveness of your communication.

2. Quality Time  family-dinner-1

To many families, having free time to spend together seems to be a luxury as we are often too busy with work, school and other engagements all year round. The holiday season is a great opportunity to reconnect and strengthen family relationships. When planning the holiday, ensure to include special “family time” to do things together as a team such as planning a party together, playing games, having a picnic or going on a trip.

3. Giving  

Like the old saying goes, charity begins at home. It literally begins at home! This is a season to show love and the best expression of love is through giving. It requires some level of selflessness on your part. Giving is inexhaustible as there is always something to give, it could be gifts, money, advice, support and even giving your time to listen or to share a special moment will all go a long way in strengthening your family relationship.

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Meeting a need in a family member’s life during this holiday will create a sense of being thought of as important and will in turn strengthen your relationship. Remember to communicate effectively, spend quality time and give during this season! To gain more tips on strengthening family ties click Here.

For more juicy info about #strengtheningfamilyrelationsships kindly follow me on twitter @DrMorayoJimoh.

 


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Building a Loving Relationship

Sarah has always wondered what it will be like to have a close relationship with her parents.

She feels something may be wrong with her family. 

Each time she sees or hears her friends talk freely with their parents and hang out with them,

she wishes so much for such a relationship.


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As children grow older and become more exposed to their environments, they start to see things differently and compare what goes on in their homes to that of others.

As a parent, you are the architect of your home, think about this for a while, what kind of children do you want to raise? Could it be children that can talk freely with you, open up to you, share their fears and trust you? or those that will be too scared to come close to you and want to hide everything from you?

Well, it all starts with the strength of your relationship with your child right from childhood and onwards. A loving parent to child relationship cannot be overemphasized because many problems in our homes and society as of today emanates from dysfunctional parent to child relationship.toddler_and_parent_smiling_with_book_02

No doubt, parenting can be really tough but a sure way to make it an enjoyable one is to strengthen your bond with your child. You will be better able to handle the challenges of parenting when you have a close relationship with your child.

Here are 10 practical tips to build a strong relationship with your child;

Tip #1 Know your child: you have to be able to study your child and understand most of his/her verbal and non-verbal communication. This does not happen in a day so take your time to study your child’s physical and emotional responses.

Tip #2 Be a good model: most of the attitude your child displays were gotten from you. Don’t tell them to do things the right way when you do them the wrong way. If you want them to be truthful, you have to avoid telling lies as well.

Tip #3 Be open to them: try as much as possible to be open to them so that they’ll take after you and be open to you in turn. Tell them about your childhood struggles and be there to help them through theirs also.

Tip #4 Tell them you love them: hearing the words “I Love You” should not be alien to your children. You might say they know very well that you love them but you have to let them hear it constantly.

Tip #5 Show them you love them: you need to try as much as possible to show your children that you truly love them by your actions.

Tip #6Touch them: Hugs and kisses should not be reserved for babies alone, you need to display your affection for your children physically by touching them when you talk with them and give regular hugs and kisses as well.

Tip #7 Talk with them: Please don’t always talk at them, they need you to talk with them more. Start building this skill right from before they start talking and when they eventually start talking, engage them in conversations. This will help them build good interpersonal relationship skills.

Tip #8 Allow them trust you: endeavor to provide appropriate answers to them right from when they start asking questions, this way, they’ll trust you to give them the right information instead of seeking such from outsiders.

Tip #9 Don’t be too old school: always try to get into your child’s world once in a while. Know what is in vogue in your child’s age category, for instance you can sit with them to watch their favourite cartoon or TV show and talk about it together. You should also play with them. You may just have your best conversations while playing with them.

Tip #10 Give them the best: the best is not necessarily expensive, if you are a busy parent, your time may be worth more than the latest gadgets and toys, so try to take out time for your child on a regular basis.

By practicing these tips, you’ll succeed in raising assertive children with very healthy self-esteem. What’s more, they’ll be forever grateful!

Portrait of Happy Family In Park

Kindly follow @DrMorayoJimoh for more interesting updates on Child Development.

 


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When Does Life Begin?

crying babyThe anticipated joy of a couple becomes complete at the sound of the cry of their new born after about 9 months of pregnancy and several hours of labor. The birth cry has been known to signify life and is looked out for by the medical professionals at the point of delivery. However, it should interest you that life does not begin at birth but at the moment the man’s sperm fuses with the woman’s ovum (This is called fertilization in biological terms or conception). A child’s life begins at this time. According to a renowned developmental psychologist, Professor Agiobu-Kemmer, the womb is the primary environment where an unborn child develops. It cannot be seen with unaided eyes but advancement in technology has made it possible to know what happens in there.

What evidence exists regarding life at conception? What makes one know that a child starts developing from the womb? Why must environmental factors both in the womb and outside be considered for optimal development?

sucking babyThe developing “child” or “fetus” in the womb hears, feels, sees, and moves even before birth. At approximately two weeks after conception, a lot of development occurs in the womb of a mother. At this stage, nutrition and environmental factors as well as genetics play a role. The body organs and parts begin to develop and take shape. At 12 weeks (3months), the fetus can smile, frown, suck and swallow. This same period coincides with when the fetus can urinate, move arms, legs, fingers and toes. Sucking the thumb usually is not learnt after birth, rather at about 20 weeks after conception, fetuses have been reported to have begun this behavior. At 25 weeks, they begin to hear and at 32 weeks they begin to respond to sounds particularly their mothers’ voices. A very recent study by Lahav (2015), an assistant professor of pediatrics, indicated that neural connection grew at sound centers of the brain of premature babies in incubators who heard recordings of their mother’s voice rather than the regular noise of intensive care units. This research shows how important it is for a mother to speak to her child while in the womb.  Another recent story was published in the news by Mail Online; A newborn baby who refused to be pacified kept on crying until he heard his father’s voice and was held by him. This provides evidence that bonding begins in the womb and both parents play a role.

It is really amazing the delicacy of the life that exist in the womb. How all the organs develop is still a continuous source of inquiry for scientists and researchers. Nutrition, emotional attachment, genetics and the  physical environment during pregnancy play a role in determining a child’s life outside the womb.  Thus, it is important to note that all these factors determine a child’s physical, intellectual and socio-emotional development

“Everything a mother does and is, is shared with her unborn child”.

Development

Every child deserves the best and remember that what a mother does or does not do during pregnancy will affect the child’s development in later years.

For more interesting updates on #child development, kindly follow @DrMorayoJimoh.


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Presence or Presents? You decide!

 Tayo, an only child baby-sitted by Granny, wakes up to prepare for school, only to find mum and dad have left for work as usual.  Granny explains: Mum has to be at the Bank and Dad has to be at the construction site. He tries to stay awake to catch a glimpse of his parents before dozing off at night, but his eyes are too full of sleep. Looking forward to every weekend, he hopes Dad can take him to the cinema, only to find out from Mum that Dad had to travel on an official trip again. Mum is usually busy attending social functions at weekends, never having time for him. To make up for this, his mum and dad buy him the latest toys and gadgets to make him happy.

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“Your children need your presence more than your presents”
– Jesse Jackson

One love language children understand is Quality time. Oh yes, they love the gifts and may go the extra mile to earn one every now and then but most importantly, children desire and need the love and presence of their parents. They want their parents to help them out and supervise their homework. They want to chat about what happened in school with their mum. They want Dad to take them out to the park. They want so much more than the gifts. I can hear someone think “They always want, can they ever stop wanting?” The truth is parenting is the greatest investment. You can invest in stocks, real estate, land etc, but investing in your children yields the greatest returns in life.

It is becoming more difficult to juggle work and family but quite possible when priorities are set. Sadly, many parents have “lost” their children in a bid to earn more and stay competitive. Children who are not under adult supervision and lack parent figures often associate with the wrong people and make misguided decisions.

 family time 2

Here are 10 tips on spending quality time and enhancing your relationship with your kids

  • Make yourself emotionally accessible and available for your child.
  • Supervise their homework as often as possible.
  • Set aside a time each week for a special outing with your kids.
  • Help them with their school projects.
  • Saturday mornings are excellent times to play games or engage in sports/exercise with your family.
  • Regularly attend Parents- Teacher’s Association (PTA) meetings.
  • Visit your child’s school during open or visiting days.
  • Ensure you have regular contact with your child’s class teacher.
  • Discuss with your child about his/her interests and aspirations.
  • Endeavor to check through your child’s note book to monitor his/her academic progress.
  • As often as you can, teach your children moral lessons as you have learned yourself while growing up.

Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege,

 than the raising of the next generation
– C. Everett Koop

To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today!

family time

In your hands lie the power to shape the outcome of your child. Choose to be a “presence-parent rather than a “presents-parent”.  Give your attention and time to your children and you will reap the rewards soon enough!

Join the conversation and get interesting tips on parenting by following @DrMorayoJimoh #parenting. You will be glad you did. Share this with someone.


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7 ways to make her feel special…

Mother’s day is here again and we would like to give you tips on making your mum special not just TODAY but EVERYDAY.

Enjoy!

Mothers day

A Mother’s Love
There are times when only a Mother’s love
Can understand our tears,
Can soothe our disappoints
And calm all of our fears.
There are times when only a Mother’s love
Can share the joy we feel
When something we’ve dreamed about
Quite suddenly is real.
There are times when only a Mother’s faith
Can help us on life’s way
And inspire in us the confidence
We need from day to day.
For a Mother’s heart and a Mother’s faith
And a Mother’s steadfast love
Were fashioned by the Angels
And sent from God above.
Author Unknown

HMD 2

Happy Mother’s day!

From Mobile Health Consult!


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What’s Your Style?

“We may not be able to prepare the future for our children,

but we can at least prepare our children for the future”. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

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If you are you a parent or plan to become one someday, you will definitely want the best for your child. The question is, how much are you willing to invest in order to see your child become the “best”? – Take a moment to think deeply about this.

A lot of people believe that their parents were strict with them while growing up and vowed to treat their own children better but may be shocked to realize that they may do same or worse in raising their own children. Some others, on the other hand, are thankful to their parents for the parenting style that was adopted in raising them.

Parenting is a huge responsibility which should also be seen as an adventure.

Here are 4 different parenting styles: The first three was classified by Diana Baumrind (1967) while the fourth style was by Maccoby and Martin (1983).

Authoritarian Parenting Style:

Authoritarian_parenting2Refers to an extremely harsh or strict method of parenting where the children don’t have a say in the home and cannot express themselves but are rather expected to follow the stated rules and regulations. A loving parent-child relationship is non-existent here. This style of parenting will in turn produce children with: low self-esteem, anger problems, anxiety, depression, they may tend to be socially withdrawn, they may conform easily and be fearful.

 Authoritative Parenting Style: 

authoritativeThis is a more balanced method of parenting with proper parent-child relationship. The parents are firm with the children in a loving and understanding manner as they seek to build a sense of responsibility and independence in their children. Children from such parents will become independent individuals, disciplined, social, they will tend to have good interpersonal relationship skills and are usually emotionally stable.

 

Permissive Parenting Style: 

permissiveHere, anything goes as the parents “allow” any behaviour the children may exhibit as long as the children are happy because they genuinely care about the children but are somewhat excessively non-restrictive or relaxed about controlling the behaviour of the children. In this method, parents may have to bribe or give special treats to their children before they can get them to do what is expected of them. Children with such upbringing will eventually become demanding, spoilt, aggressive, always wanting to get their way and lack self-discipline/ self-control.

 Uninvolved Parenting Style:

univolvedIn this style, the parent neglects the child and is often detached from the child emotionally and in some cases otherwise. Love and affection is not being expressed to the child by the parent as it ought to be. The parent sees his/her sole responsibility as providing only basic needs such as food and shelter for the child and expects the child to take care him/herself afterwards. This style of parenting will produce children that will tend to feel lonely, have low self-esteem/self worth, may become drug/alcohol addicts and antisocial.

 

Which of these styles do you think best describes your parents’ method of raising you?

Could it be the authoritarian, authoritative, permissive or the uninvolved parenting style?

What influence do you think their style of parenting has had or is having on you as an adult?

 

 

Comment below on your experience. Kindly follow @DrMorayoJimoh for more mind blowing updates on parenting and child development throughout the month of March.

 

“If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world”.

– Dorothy Law Neite