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The ‘Perfection’ illusion

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perfectionIn life, we find that those people who are seeking for the “perfect” job, the “perfect” child, the “perfect” lover and so on are unhappy. This is because they are chasing shadows in the dark;”perfect” is an illusion. No job is perfect and neither your lover nor your child is or will be. It may be difficult to come to terms with, for some, but for most this is expected. One way of testing this is by asking yourself if something or someone can be improved. We find out that 99% of the time the answer is “yes, we can improve this – he or she can be even better”. This is not a pessimistic approach to life, but a realistic one. So most times we find that we have to compromise with life, amend our wants and embrace the reality. But not everyone is willing to do so and they often end up falling into depression or having anxiety disorders.

This happens because their NEED for perfection in whatever aspect of their life would not let them be happy. By way of illustration,  insisting whoever you meet must tick ALL your boxes before you move forward with them. Or you keep focusing on the one small mistake you made during a presentation which in reality was still brilliant regardless. To base your happiness on someone or something being perfect, even yourself, is just like tossing all your life savings into the ocean and hoping it will all float back. Nothing will ever be perfect so therefore your happiness would be ‘out of your control’. One of the easiest ways to fall into depression is believing you’re not in control of your own happiness.

????????????????????????????????Such a person would need to learn satisfaction. Being satisfied with your job or with someone helps you appreciate and enjoy the job or the person more. You’re not anxious that they’re not good enough or that they will never be perfect. You are aware of their imperfections and you’re satisfied with them that way. Focus only on the things you can change. Learn to live with the thing you can’t.

Note that being satisfied does not mean you should not aim for the best. In everything, do your best, then be satisfied. 

SATISFACTION, not PERFECTION, is the key to HAPPINESS.

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Author: mhcbiofeedback

Dr. Morayo Jimoh, a Chartered Educational Psychologist, is also a neurofeedback therapist in private practice. She obtained a Doctoral degree in the field of Psychology of Education from University of South Africa (UNISA). She is a member of the following associations: 1. Association for Applied psychophysiology and Biofeedback (AAPB); 2. International Society for Neurofeedback and Research (ISNR); and 3. American Psychological Association (APA). 4. British Psychological Society 5. Psychological Society of South Africa Her field of interest is neuropsychological learning disabilities in children. Dr. Morayo Jimoh is a lecturer in Child Development in the Department of Early Childhood Education and Development under Distance learning at University of South Africa.

One thought on “The ‘Perfection’ illusion

  1. Reblogged this on Mobile Health Consult and commented:

    Nobody is perfect… Be content and Happiness will follow

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